super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
