Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
