why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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