my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just pynch a tree in the face
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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