I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
