Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
