I should be sponsored by Trojan
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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