Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
