maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
