So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
