Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We are two peas in an std pod
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
