just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
