I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
