When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Come on in and take your pants off
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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