Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
