It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
