yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
