He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
