i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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