Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
