My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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