woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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