i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
