I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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