Your face is a jimmy john
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
