AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
