all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
