i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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