This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
