I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
