I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
