Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Are we still banned from the library?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
