I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
