its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
