She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
