that's an acceptable place to lick
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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