Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
