Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
