My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
