As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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