My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
