This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
