It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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