this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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