So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
