I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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