I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
