U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
