I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
