moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
