Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
