i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Randomize
