Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
